Zombie Lake – or – AquaZombieVampires From Physics Defying Lake/Pool

Posted: February 26, 2013 by peteeboy in Foreign, Guest Review, Horror, Movies, Zombie
Tags: , , , , , , ,

Zombie Lake

Zombie Lake. 1981

In a small village, somewhere in France, German soldiers, killed and thrown into the lake by the Resistance during WW II, come back.
Director: Jean Rollin
Writers: Julián Esteban (story), Jesús Franco
Stars: Howard Vernon, Pierre-Marie Escourrou, Anouchka
Runtime: 90 min
Release Date:
13 May 1981 (France)
“God help us if they rise again!”
Zombie Lake (1981) on IMDb

Zombie Lake A.K.A “AquaZombieVampires From Physics Defying Lake/Pool vs. The Strange BuggedEyed Mayor in the Castle Down the Road”

……I cannot believe that I sat through this movie literally glued to the tube??!! But I was; and more so, I had to pee the entire time, and just could get up to head to the bathroom!!!!! The twist; the turns; the boobs, and the 70’s unshaven volleyball/basketball girlies only would sway me to give this flick a 9 outta 10, but it wasn’t that at all! I want to cling a glass with the editing team!! Their lack of compassion, heart, drive, and film education really put the film in a league of it’s own…. I mean lets face it, the cut-away’s, disappearing in an instant zombies in the lake, the pool walls and store bought aquarium plants really added some flare to the lake/pool scenes!! I couldn’t wrap my head around the zombies reaching up from the depths of the lake/pool when the teenieboppers were frolicking knee deep at the shore. I flunked high school physics, but my keen sense of this ain’t fucking rightness kicked into overdrive when the girls were swimming in about 10feet of crystal clear water at the very same time they were knee deep in what seemed to be the most disgusting lake I have every seen!!!

Is this a swamp or a pool wait....it's both.

Is this a swamp or a pool wait….it’s both.

I just couldn’t stop watching this!!!! I bet you the crew ended up shooting that flashback war scene in about an hour and a half, and the cherry bombs used for the pyro’s probably used up most of their film budget….. that is why they had to reduce themselves to only painting the zombies faces green, sticking pieces of garbage to their skin with glue to look like wounds ( which apparently wasn’t very sticky glue ) , and having the entire cast only stick to 5 pages of dialog for the whole entire movie!!!!!!!!!!

Runny Green Grease paint.

Runny Green Grease paint.

Look….. maybe some people DO believe that zombies only suck blood through the pores of the skin on your neck, and that they plan strategic attacks against their prey. Maybe some people DO believe that zombies do really fight in slow motion and that only their faces rot over years of decay in a lake/pool. Maybe some people DO believe that with time, Zombie Dads will still love their daughters and give them their mothers necklace back with REALLY staring eyes!! And, maybe some people DO believe that zombies find it extremely important to keep their helmets on at all times in case they forget that they are dead or in case they just fall down……

I want to suck your blood....no wait, I'm a zombie.....

I want to suck your blood….no wait, I’m a zombie…..

Boobs, bums, vampirezombies, a cast and crew who are unsure if they are ever receiving a pay cheque, a lake even leeches second guess, and a complete disregard of anything that makes sense, spawns such great classics as…………………ZOMBIE LAKE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


peteeboy rates Zombie Lake


-3/10


Advertisements
Comments
  1. I am unfortunate enough to actually own this thanks to my obsession with Nazi Zombie movies. I feel your pain.

    • puremassacre says:

      That is unfortunate. Nazi Zombies are definitely cool, but this was an astoundingly horrible flick….so bad it was good? Nah. Anywho my brother did the write up for it after I laughingly convinced him to watch it. Thanks for stopping by.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s