Happy St. Patricks Day!

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Saint Patrick’s Day or the Feast of Saint Patrick (Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”) is a cultural and religious holiday celebrated on 17 March. It is named after Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the most commonly recognised of the patron saints of Ireland. Saint Patrick’s Day was made an official Christian feast day in the early seventeenth century and is observed by the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion (especially the Church of Ireland), the Eastern Orthodox Church and Lutheran Church. The day commemorates Saint Patrick and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, as well as celebrating the heritage and culture of the Irish in general. Celebrations generally involve public parades and festivals, céilithe, and the wearing of green attire or shamrocks.

Blah, blah, blah…for me and most people I know St. Patricks day is about one thing and one thing only; getting absolutely stinking drunk! While I have adhered to this tradition of excessive alcohol consumption for most, if not all of my adult years, I decided to stray a little this year. Irish themed horror! What better way to celebrate St Patricks day! My original choices for Irish horror were Shrooms (which was a great psychological drugged out horror-fest), Isolation (not a bad genetic experiment type horror flick) and Wakewood (which I have yet to see), all horror flicks from the emerald Isle. Something went sideways and I ended up settled on the Leprechaun saga. Yep all 6 films back to back, a great Irish themed horror marathon. That was the plan; 12 hours of bloody Leprechaun madness. Things didn’t go exactly as planned.

Leprechaun 1

Jennifer Anniston!

Jennifer Anniston!

Leprechaun is a 1993 American horror comedy film written and directed by Mark Jones and starring Warwick Davis and Jennifer Aniston in her first feature film role. The film was shot in Saugus, California.
Release date: January 8, 1993 (initial release)
Director: Mark Jones
DVD release date: August 25, 1998
Running time: 92 minutes

I never bothered to watch any of the Leprechaun flicks, and now I know why. Jennifer Anniston was the only thing that kept this thing together, plot inconsistencies, a comical villain and shoddy acting by most of the cast. I know it’s a horror-comedy but really the laughs are more out of pitty for the cast than any sort of real comedy. Warwick Davis of Willow fame, who I later found out was the body of Yoda in the Phantom Menace, plays Lubin, a deranged Leprechaun searching for his lost pot of gold. He gets really pissed and starts killing everyone in his way, understandable. Stupid though. It is what it is. My bro ended up joining me for the marathon and regretted it as soon as the opening sequence began.

Have you seen Ross?

Have you seen Ross?


Kills:4
Gore:Minor
Acting:Poor/Mediocre
Overall:4/10 just barely a 4)


Leprechaun 2

Oh ya...he's back

Oh ya…he’s back

Leprechaun 2 is a 1994 American comedy horror film and the second film in the Leprechaun series. It released in 1994 and is the final entry in the series to be released theatrically. It centers on a sadistically evil leprechaun hunting for a bride.
Release date: April 8, 1994 (initial release)
Director: Rodman Flender
DVD release date: January 5, 1999

Since we weren’t drinking, for various reasons I won’t get into, my brother gave me a couple of his anti-seizure meds as we started Leprechaun 2. With my brain starting to pleasantly warm up I was ready for some more Leprechaun badassery. Well despite some major inconsistencies (Oddly enough he was 1400 years older in this one) from the first film, Lubin decides this time that he’s after a bride. Riveted to the screen I eagerly hung on every word. Kidding. There was one great kill in this film involving a magnificent pair of breasts and a lawnmower but that about all I really remember. Lubin the Leprechaun gets killed at the end (as he did in the first) and the credits roll very abrutly. Next!

Kiss me baby!

Kiss me baby!


Kills:4
Gore:Minor
Acting:Poor/Mediocre
Bonus:Excellent Boob/Kill scene
Overall:3/10


Leprechaun 3

Vegas?

Vegas?

Leprechaun 3 is a 1995 American comedy fantasy horror film. It is the third installment and first direct-to-video entry in the Leprechaun series.
Release date: 1994 (initial release)
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith
DVD release date: February 27, 2001

Hour 6 was the wall for me. I really didn’t care about the marathon by this point, neither did my brother. But with the fuzzy feelings pervading our brains we pushed on. Leprechaun 3 takes place in Las Vegas where Lubin the Leprechaun is introduced as a wooden sculpture this time (odd, he was blown up in the last flick) and some type of repulsive medallion that had no bearing on the events of the film at all. I should be drinking by this point, I should be urinating green beer by now. But I wasn’t, I was watching Leprechaun 3. Warwick Davis, aka Lubin the laughing Leprechaun, waddles around in his awkward way killing any who have stolen his gold. Yes we are back on the gold again. It also seem as if no one is shocked by an evil looking Leprechaun, as he prances around the Vegas strip and gambles at the casino’s. There were some good kills in this one but honestly I wasn’t really paying attention by this point.

Thank you.....thank you very much...

Thank you…..thank you very much…


Kills:5 (decent kills)
Gore:minor
Acting:Poor/Mediocre
Overall:2/10 (I can’t believe IMDb gave it 4.5? Wow am I missing something)


Leprechaun 4: In Space

In a galaxy far far away.....

In a galaxy far far away…..

Leprechaun 4: In Space is a 1997 direct-to-video comedy horror science fiction film directed by Brian Trenchard-Smith. It is the fourth film in the Leprechaun series.
Release date: February 25, 1997 (initial release)
Director: Brian Trenchard-Smith
DVD release date: February 27, 2001

I should have been totally hammered by hour 8 of the marathon but it’s not a perfect world is it? This installment of Leprechaun takes place in space in the distant and unspecified future. Totally unconnected and unexplained, a group of marines (Aliens anyone) aboard a horribly cgi’d spaceship, are headed to the distant world of Ithicon (I think) to eradicate an alien of unknown origin. It turns out Lubin the Leprechaun is living on the desolate world with a hot alien princess (sigh). Why do I do this to myself. He ends up on the spaceship where a maniacal doctor has hope of harvesting the princess’ regenerative DNA. The two female characters (Heidi from Home Improvement, hot!) were pretty much the only thing that kept my interest as the soldiers and they’re laughable sergeant scoured the ship (the same corridor and ramp) for the leprechaun. The acting was atrocious and the plot was swiss cheese. My brother and I paused many times to laugh at a mic boom caught in a scene or an actor stumbling on a set piece. One scene involving an indoor explosion was actually recycled about 10 minutes later and used in a space explosion, lazy lazy editing. I could honestly do a better job with a hundred bux, my video camera and a case of beer. Brutal.

Dr. Evil + Dalek = a blatant ripoff.

Dr. Evil + Dalek = a blatant ripoff.


Kills:6-7 (wasn’t counting anymore by this point)
Gore:Minor
Acting:Horrible
Overall 2/10 (Brother gave it a 1/10, I like Heidi)


I need to get drunk now. With the prospect of two more Leprechaun movies, BOTH taking place in da hood I just can’t see myself completing this. I don’t want to squander an excuse (St. Pattys) to get drunk by watching back to back Leprecahun in da hood flicks. I have had enough of Warwick Davis today. 8 grueling hours of him and his antics are enough. I am going to dive into a case of beer, dye it green and get Irish (I’m part Welsh, close enough). I will complete the marathon, I just can’t do it anymore. St. Patty is calling…….

I will finish this…one day (most likely not though). Lionsgate and WWE films are in the works on a new Leprechaun reboot, promising a darker and scarier take on the franchise. Let’s hope…..

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Comments
  1. Tyson Carter says:

    You crazy bastard! 🙂

  2. puremassacre says:

    It was a wild ride!

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