Leprechaun – A St. Patty’s Day Disaster

Happy St. Patricks Day!

Saint Patrick’s Day or the Feast of Saint Patrick (Irish: Lá Fhéile Pádraig, “the Day of the Festival of Patrick”) is a cultural and religious holiday celebrated on 17 March. It is named after Saint Patrick (c. AD 385–461), the most commonly recognised of the patron saints of Ireland. Saint Patrick’s Day was made an official Christian feast day in the early seventeenth century and is observed by the Catholic Church, the Anglican Communion (especially the Church of Ireland), the Eastern Orthodox Church and Lutheran Church. The day commemorates Saint Patrick and the arrival of Christianity in Ireland, as well as celebrating the heritage and culture of the Irish in general. Celebrations generally involve public parades and festivals, céilithe, and the wearing of green attire or shamrocks.

Blah, blah, blah…for me and most people I know St. Patricks day is about one thing and one thing only; getting absolutely stinking drunk! While I have adhered to this tradition of excessive alcohol consumption for most, if not all of my adult years, I decided to stray a little this year. Irish themed horror! What better way to celebrate St Patricks day! My original choices for Irish horror were Shrooms (which was a great psychological drugged out horror-fest), Isolation (not a bad genetic experiment type horror flick) and Wakewood (which I have yet to see), all horror flicks from the emerald Isle. Something went sideways and I ended up settled on the Leprechaun saga. Yep all 6 films back to back, a great Irish themed horror marathon. That was the plan; 12 hours of bloody Leprechaun madness. Things didn’t go exactly as planned.

Hypothermia – Why oh Why Michael Rooker

Hypothermia

The project tells the story of two friends. The two have been fishing at the same location for years, but one day a sudden disappearance in the populace of fish puzzle the young men. After initially considering the possibilities, they wonder if the lake was fished dry, or if there was a deeper, darker meaning to the empty lake. This question is quickly answered, as the friends are attacked by a mysterious creature, and more victims are found beneath the icy lake.

Director: James Felix McKenney
Writer: James Felix McKenney
Stars: Michael Rooker, Blanche Baker, Benjamin Forster
Release Date: 2 October 2012
Runtime: 73 min
Production Co: Dark Sky Films & Glass Eye Pix

I really gotta stop doing this to myself; I get bored at around midnight and start scrolling aimlessly around crackflix for something to make my eyes bleed to. I find that with my sleep addled brain and caffeine burning eyes that my choices are always on the questionable side of things. I generally look at the rating to get somewhat of an idea how good or bad a film will be (I don’t put to much faith in ratings), so when I happened upon Hypothermia with its 3 star Netflix rating, decent looking cover and somewhat interesting synopsis, I thought tonight would be different. Wrong!

Rites of Spring

Rites of Spring. 2011.

A ransom scheme turns into a nightmare for a group of kidnappers who become victims of a horrifying secret that must be paid every spring.
Director: Padraig Reynolds
Writer: Padraig Reynolds (screenplay)
Stars: Sonny Marinelli, Katherine Randolph and Anessa Ramsey

One part kidnapping ransom flick mixed with one part inbred farmers malformed creature(ish) son mixed with copious amounts of confused and directionless storytelling equals one big mess! An interesting mess. I do like crime films and I do like inbred monster films and I guess I would like both together I’m just not sure if I liked Rites of Spring.  I like rural settings a-la TCM where you get rusted old tractors laying about, dilapidated old barns slowly decaying in the scorching sun and eery looking corn fields long past ripe so I will assume that’s what kept me watching this film long past my loss of interest.  Mind you I was battling the flu when viewing this film and was hopped up on some pretty good meds….so my incoherent and spotty memory of Rites of Spring might have something to do with the confusion I experienced throughout.  I actually shouldn’t be posting about this film without a sober and clear re-viewing.  I’ll let this guy tell it all. Rites of Spring Review by Chris Pandolfi. Anyway check out Rites of Spring @ IMDb.

Jack Frost – Xmas Bloodbath Series #1

Jack Frost. 1996.

Jack Frost is an American horror comedy film written and directed by Michael Cooney and released in 1996. The movie takes place in the fictional town of Snowmonton, where (on the week before Christmas) a truck carrying serial killer Jack Frost (Scott MacDonald) to his execution crashes into a genetics truck. The genetic material causes Jack’s body to mutate and fuse together with the snow on the ground. Jack is presumed dead and his body melts away. However, he comes back as a killer snowman and takes revenge on the man who finally caught him, Sheriff Sam Tiler (Christopher Allport). The film has since become a cult classic. (Wiki)

I decided to get into the holiday spirit by watching all of the Christmas related horror flicks I could get my hands on. The first one across the table was Jack Frost, wow. I’ve never been a fan of horror comedy (granted a few exceptions ofcourse) so I wasn’t to enthusiastic about watching Jack Frost. The really badass poster got me though, couldn’t resist. Total B-horror fest all the way here folks, you either love em or hate em. Poor acting, bad dialogue, cheesy soundtrack and a weak plot make this a difficult watch for the serious horror fan, but if you can get over the negative aspects of the film it does tend to get enjoyable. The murderous snowman is really a total laugh; paper-mache coated with some plaster of paris (I guess thats what it’s all about with this one). Lots of wacky killing including a kid getting decapitated by an old fashioned sleigh, some guy getting an axe down his throat, a woman getting strangled by xmas lights, a woman getting killed by sex with his carrot nose (ya you heard right) and many more crazy ass deaths. The evil snowman loves to make wise cracks while he kills his victims which I found quite amusing actually. How do you combat a ruthless snowman killing machine you ask? Why hair dryers ofcourse (makes sense doesn’t it). All in all Jack Frost is for B movie lovers, cult horror fans and overall crappy horror comedies; not at all what I’m into personally. I did have a pretty good time with this flick though; a wise cracking psychotic killer Snowman…..what’s not to like! Jack Frost @ IMDb.

Next Up: Silent Night Bloody Night